They will not allow emails. They have to prove she’s an unfit mother, and what she does in private if it’s not in front of the children does not make her unfit.

Well I don’t understand any of this. Try taking her to church worship with you. I hope this is not an open marriage you have here. Inwhich case no she should not have the kids and it sounds like she is all over the map with her morals, which may entice you but is not a role model for raising kids.

as misdirected as it might seem, I think she is looking for reassurance from someone.

I don’t think so. Her ex husband would have to show that she is an unfit mother. Her private affairs are just that PRIVATE! As long as it’s not interfering with her being a mom then she should be okay.